I deleted the earlier version of this blog, but saved most of the entries. Here are the ones I think should be reposted, beginning with the oldest. The photos were not in the original posts.
August 7, 2009
I Wear a Male Chastity Device
About three months ago, at my request, my wife locked me into a male chastity device. As it turns out, it saved my marriage as well as my mind. This blog is dedicated to how I got here as well as how it’s going.
I’ve been married for twenty years. For the entirety of my marriage I was an incorrigible masturbator, and, in 2006 I had a brief, ill-fated affair. The affair was discovered, the masturbating was not. Needless to say, things fell into disarray in my relationship with my wife, and that sincerely bothered me. I loved her, and was dreadfully sorry at what I’d done. Our sex life had disintegrated into almost nothing, and I spent stolen moments every day gratifying myself either in front of the computer or in the shower. It was a sad, sorry, pathetic existence.
Last November, while my wife was in Europe (she travels a lot for business, thus providing ample opportunities for bad behavior), I was surfing the internet idly, and almost unthinkingly googled the words “how to save your marriage.” On the second or third page of hits was a site on male chastity.
It should be divulged at this point that while fantasies of submissiveness had danced through my mind throughout my life, it was nothing I’d ever acted upon or even confessed to anybody. But when I read that (completely non-pornographic) site about the benefits of male chastity, I became instantly aroused and had to — guess what? — jerk off. It really turned me on. In the days that followed, I kept returning to that site and reading it (and other things) over and over again.
The question became clear: could I ask my wife of twenty years to talk about this?
August 10, 2009
Our Chastity Contract
Contract Between (Wife) and (Husband)
This agreement, between (Husband) and (Wife), husband and wife, is effective as of May 12, 2009.
Whereas:
(Husband) has engaged in extra-marital sexual activity, masturbated excessively, consumed excessive amounts of alcohol, and lied to (Wife) about these and other activities; has been irresponsible in money matters; has failed to communicate adequately with (Wife), sometimes indulging in the loss of temper in lieu of communication; and has otherwise engaged in conduct destructive to the marriage;
This conduct has hurt (Wife), undermined her security and confidence, and otherwise harmed the marriage;
(Wife) has reacted to this conduct by becoming increasingly angry with (Husband), by withdrawing her affections from him, and otherwise engaged in conduct destructive to the marriage;
This conduct has hurt (Husband), undermined his sense of security and confidence, and otherwise harmed the marriage;
The future of the marriage depends on each party avoiding the described behaviors and related ones, and on restoring and maintaining their confidence and faith in the marriage;
(Husband) feels deep and abiding love for (Wife), and recognizes the importance of sincere, truthful and intimate communication with her, as a source of joy and of trust and confidence;
(Wife) feels deep and abiding love for (Husband), and recognizes the importance of openness, predictability and limits to him, as a source of joy and of trust and confidence;
(Husband) acknowledges to (Wife) that he submissive to her, sexually and otherwise, and that her use of authority and attendant erotic power under this agreement will improve the marriage, and (Wife) relies on such acknowledgment in agreeing to proceed under this agreement.
Therefore, in consideration of the foregoing recitals and the terms, conditions and mutual promises below and for other good and valuable consideration, the receipt and sufficiency of which the parties acknowledge, the parties agree as follows:
I. Overall
1. (Wife) and (Husband) shall at a minimum spend 30 minutes each day in intimate, substantive conversation.
2. (Wife) alone will determine when and how (Husband) derives any physical sexual pleasure. (Husband) will provide sexual pleasure to (Wife) whenever and in whatever manner she so desires.
3. (Husband) will wear a chastity device (currently a CB-6000, referred to herein as “the cricket”) on a full-time, permanent basis, except as specified below.
4. (Wife) alone will install and remove the locking device, and supervise installation/reinstallation of the cricket. (Wife) will have sole possession of the keys to the cricket, and will assume responsibility for their care and safekeeping.
5. (Wife) will remove the cricket from (Husband) only for sexual activity, hygiene, certain doctor visits, emergencies or medical conditions. (Wife) will instruct (Husband) to reinstall the cricket as soon as practicable after any release, and (Husband) promptly will do so.
6. (Wife) will closely supervise (Husband) at any time the cricket is not installed so that he does not masturbate or otherwise touch himself excessively. Unless directed otherwise by (Wife), (Husband) will ejaculate only in her presence.
7. Notwithstanding any period of non-release, (Wife) will release (Husband) for hygiene purposes on a periodic basis, to be determined by her, during which time (Wife) may, in her discretion, either shower with (Husband) or observe him showering so that she can supervise the release and (Husband)’s immediate reinstallation of the cricket. While in the cricket, (Husband) will maintain his personal hygiene to the best of his ability.
8. (Husband) agrees to reveal the passwords to all phones, computers and internet accounts to (Wife). (Husband) acknowledges that there are currently five such passwords, as follows:
9. (Husband) further agrees that all phones and computers under his control will remain available for (Wife)’s use and inspection at all times.
II. Targeted Conduct
10. The following is non-exclusive list of the types of conduct by (Husband) this agreement is designed to modify, eliminate or prohibit:
Failure to communicate and especially to share intimacies, non-sexual and sexual;
Failure to raise issues that require communication as and when they happen;
Harsh and/or impatient languange or tone, arguing over words or other evasions in lieu of substantive communication;
Lying, dishonesty or evasion of the truth of any kind;
Failure to abide by the Dispute Resolution Procedure described below;
Any loss of temper for any reason;
Use of alcohol or controlled substances without (Wife)’s express permission;
Lack of consideration for and/or attention to (Wife), including but not limited to lack of consideration regarding her complete and total sexual satisfaction at all times.
Causing (Wife) to remind (Husband) to do chores or other agreed activities in a timely fashion, or inattention to household requirements;
Inattentive/impatient driving;
Unhealthy diet;
The failure to exercise;
Failure to reinstall the cricket when instructed, attempting to escape the cricket, or making an inappropriate or unjustified requests for release from the cricket;
Any form of unauthorized attempted sexual relief and/or activity, including unauthorized phone or internet contacts of any sort;
Spending money without permission;
Failure to take (Husband)’s views and desires into account when dealing with the day-to-day events of the household;
Failure to ensure that the internet browser fully records the internet history on any private computer, deleting any portion of same, or switching screens when (Wife) appears;
Objecting to or attempting to negotiate rewards/punishments as set forth below.
11. (Wife) alone shall determine the conduct this agreement covers.
12. (Wife) will rely on her authority to impose consequences under this agreement to convey her sentiments and concerns to (Husband).
III. Rewards and Penalties
13. (Wife) will reward (Husband) for avoiding conduct such as that listed above and deny (Husband) rewards for engaging in same.
14. (Wife) alone will establish and impose all rewards and penalties, and (Husband) will abide by same without complaint or objection, although (Wife) in her sole discretion may offer (Husband) an opportunity to discuss them.
15. (Wife) will choose whether and how to deny rewards and whether to make any exceptions thereto. (Husband) will neither anticipate nor expect any penalty, mitigation or reward enhancement from (Wife) and acknowledges that to do so could create tensions contrary to the spirit of this agreement.
16. Rewards shall consist of anything (Wife) chooses, other than time not wearing the cricket, including sexual activity under whatever conditions (Wife) sets.
17. Penalties shall consist of a delay in (Husband)’s release from the cricket for sexual activity, plus anything (Wife) chooses, including non-erotic physical penalties, sleeping apart, loss of cuddling, directions respecting use of the internet and any downloaded material, etc. (Husband) will sleep in another room whenever sleeping apart is part of the penalty.
18. There is no maximum time limit for (Husband) to remain in the cricket without release.
19. (Wife) will keep track of the number of days remaining before (Husband)’s release from the cricket for sexual activity.
20. Penalties may increase in severity for each repetition of the same underlying infraction.
21. All penalties involving delay of (Husband)’s release from the cricket will run consecutively.
22. Because of the fundamental importance of intimate communication, (Wife) will cuddle with (Husband) during the intimate conversations per paragraph 1 above only if he is communicating to (Wife)’s satisfaction. While (Wife) may impose any other penalty she chooses, (Husband) recognizes that the issue of communication is so central to the marriage that it cannot and should not be addressed solely within the context of this agreement.
IV. Dispute Resolution Procedure
23. Because of the special damage that serious arguments and the failure to be completely forthright do to the marriage, such arguments and avoidance of candid and sincere discourse must be addressed immediately so the parties can quickly discuss and resolve the underlying issue.
24. To this end, whenever (Wife) believes a disagreement or avoidance of candid discourse has escalated or threatens to escalate to a level unacceptable to her, (Wife) may initiate the Dispute Resolution Procedure (DRP) by so informing (Husband).
25. (Husband) shall immediately go to the bedroom, or wherever is convenient (or designated by (Wife)) and stand, cricket fully exposed.
26. When (Wife) chooses to do so, she shall begin the discussion by stating her concerns or asking (Husband) to state his, or by asking questions or by offering (Husband) the opportunity to do the same, and each shall fully and completely raise his/her concerns and respond to the other as appropriate.
27. (Husband) will make eye contact with (Wife) throughout the DRP and shall not interrupt (Wife) at any point.
28. The DRP will end only when (Wife) decides it will.
29. Violations of the DRP, if sufficient in (Wife)’s sole judgment, shall result either in period without release from the cricket commensurate with the severity of the violation, or in a temporary or permanent suspension of this agreement and the attendant chastity regimen, as (Wife) chooses.
V. Other Provisions
30. The parties have fully negotiated this agreement, in good faith, with full knowledge and understanding of its consequences and potential, recognizing that full compliance with its terms and conditions may be essential to the continued vitality and success of their marriage. They enter into the agreement freely, voluntarily and cooperatively.
31. (Husband)’s sexual needs will be met solely in accordance with the terms of this agreement, irrespective of any interval between orgasms, and (Wife) need not take those needs into account in imposing penalties.
32. Because adherence to the agreement may not result in meeting (Wife)’s sexual needs, (Wife) may fulfill those needs as she sees fit, without limitation. (Husband) may attempt to initiate sexual activity with (Wife), unless (Wife) objects, but if (Husband) is not entitled to a release and/or (Wife) chooses not to release him, he will see to her needs as directed, as he will at any time requested.
33. If (Wife) chooses to permit (Husband) to have a form of sexual release during the course of a penalty depriving him of release, (Husband) will resume the punishment on reinstallation of the cricket, and an additional period of chastity may be added to the punishment period.
34. The parties may amend this agreement at any time, orally or in writing. In case of disagreement respecting an amendment, (Wife) may amend this agreement in her discretion and will so notify (Husband).
35. The failure of either party to this agreement to insist on the performance of any of its terms or conditions, or waiver of any breach of any terms and conditions of this agreement, does not thereafter waive any such terms and conditions, which shall remain in full force and effect as if no such forbearance or waiver had occurred.
36. (Wife) has sole authority to interpret this agreement and (Husband) shall have no right of appeal except as (Wife) may grant. No interpretation (Wife) makes of the agreement or action she takes under it shall destroy the mutual consideration involved.
38. (Husband) recognizes that his breach of this agreement may, if sufficiently material, cause (Wife) to suspend this agreement or terminate it entirely, never again cooperate in a chastity routine, or to divorce (Husband).
39. (Husband) agrees, upon her request, to grant (Wife) an uncontested divorce if he tries to escape or succeeds in escaping the cricket or if he tries to or does have any form of sexual contact, including by phone, the internet or physically, with another person. (Wife) also agrees to a divorce upon (Wife)’s request if he commits multiple and repeated material infractions of the terms of this agreement.
40. The term of this agreement is indefinite.
Signed this ____ day of ____________, 2009, by:
WIFE HUSBAND
October 11, 2009
A Twist
Today is the day I’m due to orgasm, and I can’t believe it, but I’m going to ask her for permission to stay chaste. My submissiveness to and love for my wife have been sharpened and fine-tuned simultaneously during these past three weeks, and I’m reluctant to give either of them up. I’m going to propose that I give her the usual amount of oral love and attention, followed by a long bout of intercourse out of the cricket, without me being permitted to come. She also loves sucking cock, and it gives me supreme pleasure to provide her with a rock hard and steadfast cock to satisfy that hunger of hers. I’m truly and deeply in love with her, as never before, and it’s in no small thanks to chastity.
I tease myself with the idea that as I get deeper and deeper into this, I may be able to sustain chastity without the need for a device. Interesting, considering how weak willed and easy to tempt I’ve been my entire life. Also interesting is how, at the beginning of this chapter in our lives, I found the CB6000 to be erotic in and of itself. After wearing it for several months, it’s lost all sensual appeal for me entirely; it’s now simply something I happen to wear. For her, however, I get the impression that the power of keeping me in the cricket has become a bit of an addiction. She’s turned on almost continually by the idea of me in a chastity device. Strange how life works.
October 12, 2009
Released
Last night she released me, after 18 days. Her cock sprang to immediate life, and I hurried to the shower to wash off. It felt wonderful scrubbing her penis, knowing it would finally get the chance to make her feel wonderful. She had me lay down and she popped the cock into her mouth. ”Mmmmm” she hummed, and after a moment she let it go to say, “don’t come, don’t you come.”
I told her my feelings about remaining chaste for a while longer, and she said no.
“Here’s what’s going to happen. I’m going to suck you for a while longer, then you’re going to make me come with your mouth and fingers, then I’m going to put you on your back again, spread your legs up in the air, get between them, put my cock back inside me and fuck you like you need to be fucked. You’ll come tonight and the cricket goes back on for the week. Then all of next weekend you’ll be kept naked and out of the cricket. You’ll do whatever I want and not be able to come the entire time.”
And that was that. When she got between my legs she said,”You haven’t even begun to imagine how I’m going to fuck you in the future.”
I didn’t reply, but I presumed she knew I had, in fact. I’m back in the cricket, and sent her an email at work thanking her for fucking me, and I signed it
Your devoted slave.
November 10, 2009
Chastity Pillow Talk
We’re still feeling around the boundaries of her sexual control over me. Over the summer I began asking her for permission to sleep with the cricket off, and she agreed. It soon became a regular thing: at bedtime she would unlock me, play with her penis if she was in the mood, have me give her an orgasm, and we would either read or cuddle and go to sleep, all with me out of the cricket.
I’m sure it goes without saying that this gave me opportunities to touch myself, stroke myself, masturbate to the edge of coming, usually after she’d fallen asleep, or, much more often, in the early morning while she took her bath. In my heart I knew that my playing with her cock was counter-productive and deceitful, but I’m weak, and it felt so damn good. In mitigation, these stolen moments of stroking were always fueled by the ironic thought that I’m now a chaste, submissive husband, under the loving control of my wife, thereby proving that chastity is the hottest sex of all.
Last night I asked J if I could stay in the cricket, and I told her why. ”I’ve been playing with myself sometimes and I don’t want to but I can’t help myself.” Just being able to say those words made me feel good. I want to be done with secrets and shame. As I type these words I realize that there are so many more I want to say to her, but I get jammed up with fearing to go too fast for her, or that she may get flipped out by how deeply I want to embrace submissiveness to her.
It’s important to understand that we aren’t scene people. We’ve been married twenty years, and while we have some toys: a few dildoes, a strap on, etc., there isn’t an ounce of role play or pretending in our relationship. I prefer to think that all the role playing in my life preceded my coming out to her last year. And it’s undeniable that our sex life has improved tremendously since then, I think at least partially because honesty intensifies intimacy. But honesty, true, immediate honesty, is challenging for me. I was a chronic masturbator my entire life, and it’s it’s only now I see that the secret daily masturbating I engaged in for my entire marriage was a colossal waste of time and literally a crime against myself. I’m still growing within that realization and trying to be true to it, whatever it may be.
I have a wish list of things I plan of sharing with J as time goes by. In a nutshell:
“I strongly believe that a man’s natural place is in the control of a woman. I’d be comfortable and happy with an ongoing and open acknowledgment between us (and whomever else you’d like to know) that I am your submissive husband at all times, not just in the bedroom. If there’s anyone to whom you’d like to share the fact that I wear the cricket for you, I would be happy for you to do so.”
“When you slapped my penis around the other night, and squeezed it very hard, and pulled on it long and hard, I didn’t tell you the degree to which that made me feel not only pleasure, but love. If it would give you pleasure to explore punishing my penis this way, I would enjoy it.”
“The thought of cuckoldry has never aroused me, until I came out of the closet and gave deep deliberation to the nature of submission. While I don’t know if I’m ready, or even that I’ll ever be ready to be cuckolded, I’d like to be able to talk about it with you.”
All of these revelation wishes really say the same thing: ”I’m happy and grateful to be on this journey with you, and I’m not afraid to go anywhere it leads, as long as it pleases you. I love you.”
Anyway, I slept in the cricket last, and we talked for a while about how regular my orgasms should be. I asked her not to be concerned on my account: If it were up to me, I’d say the longer the better. I’m thinking about a very interesting 2010. 🙂
What makes this photo attractive to me is the very ordinariness of it. She’s not wearing an exotic outfit, there’s no “role” that’s being played, its beauty is rooted in appearing completely uncontrived.
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