a post from J

A couple times a reader has commented on my husband’s blog that they would like to hear something from J to inspire wives.  I decided to try.  I am not the writer my husband is.  But from the moment of he suggested it, the cricket has taken my breath away.

In Praise of the Cricket

To say that a cricket could change the world sounds like an odd and unrealistic flight of fancy.  (I think you know that a cricket is our name for a metal cage-like chastity device worn around the penis.)

Okay, with that in mind, imagine large populations rubbing their mental wings humming a sweet, transported belief in crickets.  Imagine hundreds of millions of marriages not lost or ship wrecked or mired in complaint and anger and the almost certainly unavoidable and completely natural disasters caused by kids and money and jobs and schedules.  Imagine everyone in the world thinking of each other all day long and falling into each other’s arms at night and talking about everything on equal planes of interest and reason and patience and good will and joyful passion.

How can two people be totally inaudible to each other one year and anticipating each other’s every word the next?  It could only be explained by a cricket.  It seems such a simple physical control by one person over another’s sexual completion.  Do not be fooled.  Its control is physical, of course, but that is maybe 1% of its power.  It can only be mutually undertaken.  It is entirely mental.  It changes thought and perception.  It creates communication and partnership and passion.

My husband says that it is natural that women are in control.  He says that women are more sensible and superior.  There is not one moment that I feel superior.  I have been given control—a whole reciprocal responsibility.  I have been catered to and I have been adored.  All this makes me feel is happy.  My cricketed husband has put such positive energy into our marriage, relationship, bond—none of these words seems quite right—(life!) that I can only contribute in kind.  I can only try to be fair and true and generous and understanding.  I feel loved in an extraordinary way.   I think for both of us, everything feels easier.  (Not to mention, extremely erotic.)

The cricket has made me know my husband better.  I have found that everything I did not know about my husband is much more interesting than what I knew.  Deeper, everything that he thought he should hide about himself, when revealed, became transparent and opened a beautiful view into him and really us both.

I do love having control of my husband’s orgasm.  We have come to the point where cricket on or off, it is the same.  He will only come or touch himself with my permission.  But he finds the cricket reassuring.  I find it incredibly beautiful and it arouses us both.  For him being aroused has become almost more pleasurable than coming.  But coming for him (on far flung pre-decided dates) is spectacular.  We make love and he brings me to orgasm daily, unless I am not in the mood, or he is too tired—now rare occurrences.

I am not sorry we waited until now to figure this out.  But if you are making choices, my advice is that the cricket is the best way to cultivate a truer marriage.

Clarification:  we do not claim to have anything figured out.   We are exploring.  But in the cricket we have embarked.

J